Today I went to buy a Cuban cigar. As I approached the Fabrica de Tabaco Partagas, a man stopped me in the street.
- Ven conmigo, he tells me. – Tengo precios muchas mas baratas que ali.
His name is Manuel, and naturally, he has a friend in Scotland. I follow him down a sidestreet and up a few flights of stairs to his house behind the Capitolio, to check out his lower prices. Seated in his living room, he brings out several boxes of cigars, with brands such as Montecristo, Romeo Y Juliet and Cohibas.
- Que tipo fumas? I asked him. Which ones did he smoke.
- Solo Cohiba, he informs me immediately – La gente cubano solo fuman Cohibos.
Naturally, Cohibos were the most expensive.
- No tienes algo en tubos? I asked him next. I am to travel several hundred miles befote I enjoy my cigar in celebration of a major win on the Pai Gow table in Bills Gamblin’ Saloon, Las Vegas. I want my cigar in a tube.
He looks at me as if I had just urinated over his cigars. I listen as he explains that tubes were not good for protecting cigars and their flavour.
- Cajas estan major, he tells me, showing me his boxes each filled with 20-30 cigars.
- Puedo comprar tres? I ask him. I am only wanting three cigars. One for me, and one for each of the amigos I will be meeting in Las Vegas.
Manual looks at me as if I have just urinated over his cigars and then insulted his mother, He hands me 10 cigars in a box – Cuarenta pesos, he tells me. About thirty pounds sterling.
- Necesito pensar, I tell him. I need to think about it.
- Treinta pesos, he tells me quickly.
- No tengo dinero ahora, I tell him just as quickly.
Manuel the cigar seller explains that there I a bank nearby, and that he will happily walk with me to it.
- Necesito ir al banco Y pienso, I tell him firmly, the emphasis on the thinking and not on the withdrawing money from the bank.
- Veinte pesos he lowers his price again. I can tell by the look on his face that this is probably his final offer.
- Regresare cuando he pensado I tell him, but I know by the look on his face that he doesn’t think I will return, probably because he has soon the look on my face.
After leaving him in his living room, I head for the Fabrica de Tabaco Partagas and buy my cigars. They cost me more than Manuel’s, but at least they come in a tube.
